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1842 - 1914. American satirist, journalist and writer. In "The Devil`s Dictionary" he gave us alternate definitions to many popular words.
1. "Zeal, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. "
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Various
2. "Year, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments."
categories: Time and Passing
3. "Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands."
categories: Woman and Man
4. "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."
categories: History and Nations -:- Peace and War
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Patriotism -:- Politics and Diplomacy
6. "Twice, adv. Once too often."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Various
7. "There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know."
categories: Wisdom and Stupidity -:- Knowledge, Ignorance
8. "Success, n. The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Success and Fame
9. "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
categories: Anger
10. "Saint, n. A dead sinner revised and edited."
source: "Devil's Dictionary"
categories: God and Religion -:- Sin and Conscience
11. "Resign, v. A good thing to do when you are going to be kicked out."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Defeates and Mistakes
12. "Reason, vi. To weigh probabilities in the scales of desire."
source: "The Devil’s Dictionary"
categories: Intellect, Judgement
13. "Quack, n. A murderer without a license."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Health and Alcohol
14. "Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Politics and Diplomacy
15. "Politeness , n. The most acceptable hypocrisy."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Manners and Ethics
16. "Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Science and Technology
17. "Peace, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting."
source: "Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Peace and War -:- Politics and Diplomacy
18. "Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Various
19. "Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Art and Culture
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20. "Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Optimism and Hope
21. "Noise, n. A stench in the ear. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization."
categories: Various
22. "Miss, n.: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market."
categories: Woman and Man
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Marriage
categories: Human
25. "Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Normality and Madness
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Love
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Science and Technology
28. "Liberty, n. One of imagination's most precious possessions."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Freedom and Servitude -:- Reality and Imagination
29. "Land, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Various
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Justice -:- Law and Crime
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Youth and Age
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Wisdom and Stupidity
33. "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Intellect, Judgement
34. "Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Envy -:- Happiness
35. "Erudition, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Knowledge, Ignorance
36. "Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Egoism
37. "Defenceless, adj. Unable to attack."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Peace and War -:- Various
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Health and Alcohol
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Richness and Money -:- Various
40. "Congratulation, n. The civility of envy."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Envy
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: God and Religion -:- Sin and Conscience
42. "Cannon, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Peace and War -:- Politics and Diplomacy
43. "Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Nature and Animals -:- Wisdom and Stupidity
44. "Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Marriage -:- Woman and Man
45. "Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Intellect, Judgement
46. "Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Egoism -:- Oration and Silence
47. "Appeal: v.t. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Law and Crime
48. "Apologize, v. To lay the foundation for a future offense."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Forgiveness -:- Manners and Ethics
categories: Politics and Diplomacy
50. "Advice, n. The smallest current coin."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Various
51. "Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Egoism -:- Manners and Ethics
source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Manners and Ethics
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source: "The Devil's Dictionary"
categories: Various