Quotations of selected author

Will Rogers

1879-1935. Full name William Penn Adair Rogers, American humorist.


1. "You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way."

categories: Peace and War -:- Science and Technology


2. "When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do - well, that's Memoirs."

categories: Memory -:- Truth and Falsity


3. "Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like."

categories: Envy -:- Richness and Money


4. "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."

categories: Authority, Government -:- Wit and Humor


5. "The United States never lost a war or won a conference."

categories: History and Nations -:- Politics and Diplomacy


6. "The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them."

categories: Manners and Ethics -:- Various


7. "The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."

source: "The Illiterate Digest"

categories: Richness and Money


8. "Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat."

categories: Richness and Money



9. "Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week."

categories: Peace and War -:- Politics and Diplomacy


10. "Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators."

categories: Politics and Diplomacy


11. "No nation ever had two better friends that we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans."

categories: History and Nations


12. "Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip."

categories: Life and Death -:- Manners and Ethics


13. "It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human."

categories: Human


14. "I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

categories: Marriage -:- Success and Fame


15. "I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."

categories: Authority, Government -:- Wit and Humor


16. "Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is."

categories: Bravery and Fear


17. "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

source: "Illiterate Digest"

categories: Egoism -:- Manners and Ethics


18. "Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes."

categories: Politics and Diplomacy -:- Wit and Humor


19. "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."

categories: Politics and Diplomacy



20. "Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation."

source: "Wit and Wisdom"

categories: Politics and Diplomacy


21. "Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work."

categories: Politics and Diplomacy


22. "An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh."

categories: Nature and Animals


23. "Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."

categories: Various