Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules.
Ashleigh Brilliant
1. "All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening."
Alexander Woollcott
Other categories: Manners and Ethics
2. "While the doctors consult, the patient dies."
English proverb
3. "If you are poor, avoid wine as a costly luxury; if you are rich, shun it as a fatal indulgence. Stick to plain water."
Herman Melville, "Israel Potter"
Other categories: Richness and Money
4. "Most suicides are committed with a knife and fork."
Swedish proverb
Other categories: Life and Death
5. "When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex."
Prue Leith
Other categories: Youth and Age
6. "Small children give you headache; big children heartache."
Russian proverb
Other categories: Family and Loneliness
7. "A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience."
John Updike
8. "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
George Burns
9. "An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor."
Alvan L. Barach
10. "If cooking becomes an art form rather than a means of providing a reasonable diet, then something is clearly wrong."
Tom Jaine
Other categories: Various
11. "Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead."
James Thurber, "Fables for our Time"
12. "Life is a disease; and the only difference between one man and another is the stage of the disease at which he lives. You are always at the crisis: I am always in the convalescent stage."
George Bernard Shaw, "Back to Methuselah"
Other categories: Life and Death
13. "Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde
Other categories: Work and Laziness
14. "It is not true that drink changes a man’s character. It may reveal it more clearly."
John Osborne, "Tom Jones"
Other categories: Human
15. "Everything ends this way in France. Weddings, christenings, duels, burials, swindlings, affairs of state ? everything is a pretext for a good dinner."
Jean Anouilh, "Cécile"
Other categories: History and Nations
16. "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do."
Dylan Thomas
17. "Drunkenness [...] is temporary suicide."
Bertrand Russell, "The Conquest of Happiness"
18. "To feel our ills is one thing, but to cure them is another."
Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso), "Epistolae ex Ponto"
Other categories: Pain and Tears
19. "I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient."
Cyra McFadden
20. "The best number for a dinner party is two - myself and a dam’ good head waiter."
Nubar Gulbenkian
Other categories: Various
21. "Civilization means food and literature all round. Beefsteaks and fiction magazines for all. First-class proteins for the body, fourth-class love-stories for the spirit."
Aldous Huxley, "Eyeless in Gaza"
Other categories: Human -:- Various
22. "My doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me six months more."
Walter Matthau
Other categories: Richness and Money
23. "When one is too old for love, one finds great comfort in good dinners."
Zora Neale Hurston, "Moses Man of the Mountain"
Other categories: Youth and Age
24. "Disease is a vital expression of the human organism."
Georg Groddeck, "The Book of the It"
25. "Time is shortening. But every day that I challenge this cancer and survive is a victory for me."
Ingmar Bergman
Other categories: Life and Death -:- Time and Passing
26. "What a man calls his "conscience" is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love."
Helen Rowland, "A Guide to Men"
Other categories: Sin and Conscience -:- Woman and Man
27. "Eat a third and drink a third and leave the remaining third of your stomach empty. Then, when you get angry, there will be sufficient room for your rage."
Talmud, (Babylonian)
Other categories: Anger
28. "Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper."
Adelle Davis
Other categories: Various
29. "Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good."
Alice May Brock
Other categories: Various
30. "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."
Fran Lebowitz
Other categories: Oration and Silence
31. "Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined."
Samuel Goldwyn
32. "Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking."
Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
33. "I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on."
Oscar Levant
Other categories: Envy
34. "A hospital is no place to be sick."
Samuel Goldwyn
35. "Beware of the young doctor and the old barber."
Benjamin Franklin
Other categories: Youth and Age
36. "Fish, to taste good, must swim three times: in water, in butter, and in wine."
Polish proverb
37. "One drink is just right; two is too many; three are too few."
Spanish proverb
38. "Nature, time and patience are the three great physicians."
Chinese proverb
Other categories: Nature and Animals -:- Time and Passing
39. "Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork."
English proverb
40. "We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full."
Marcel Proust
Other categories: Pain and Tears
41. "Without health, life is not life; it is only a state of languor and suffering."
Francois Rabelais
Other categories: Life and Death -:- Pain and Tears
42. "When the patient loves his disease, how unwilling he is to allow a remedy to be applied."
Pierre Corneille, "Le Cid"
43. "Leave your drugs in the chemist’s pot if you can cure the patient with food."
Hippocrates
44. "No man can be a patriot on an empty stomach."
William Cowper
Other categories: Patriotism
45. "Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair."
Dorothy Parker
Other categories: Richness and Money
46. "The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea."
Karen Blixen (Isak Dinesen)
Other categories: Pain and Tears
47. "Having good health is very different from only being not sick."
Seneca the Younger
48. "Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
Fran Lebowitz
49. "A healthy body is a guest-chamber for the soul; a sick body is a prison."
Francis Bacon
50. "Dieting is a system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer."
Jan Murray
2007, collected and compiled by Kazimierz Matan
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