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Category: Marriage

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1. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Rita Rudner

2. "Marriage is like a big transformer - it turns a high voltage of love into a weak current of everyday life."

Kazimierz Matan

Quotations about: Love

3. "Before the wedding we want to love. After the wedding we have to."

Kazimierz Matan

Quotations about: Love

4. "Alimony: a mistake by two people paid for by one."

Anon.

5. "Married love is a stream that, after a certain length of time, sinks into the earth and flows underground. Something is there, but one does not know what. Only the vegetation shows that there is still water."

Gerald Branan, "Thoughts in a Dry Season: A Miscellany"

Quotations about: Love

6. "Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it."

Anon.

Quotations about: Love

7. "Marriage is a bad proposition, half end in divorce, and the other half end in death."

Anon.

8. "When you sympathize with a married woman you either make two enemies or gain one wife and one friend."

Menander, "A Mencken Chrestomathy"

Quotations about: Woman and Man

9. "The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, "Love in the Time of Cholera"

Quotations about: Love

10. "Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings."

Vicki Baum, "And Life Goes On"

11. "The law says you can have only one spouse. This is called monotony."

Anon.

Quotations about: Law and Crime

12. "Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit."

Anon.

Quotations about: Work and Laziness

13. "Bachelors have consciences. Married men have wives."

Henry Louis Mencken, "A Mencken Chrestomathy"

Quotations about: Sin and Conscience

14. "Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them."

Sydney Smith

15. "My mother said it was simple to keep a man: you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit."

Jerry Hall

Quotations about: Woman and Man

16. "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

Milton Berle

Quotations about: Forgiveness

17. "Every woman should marry - and no man."

Benjamin Disraeli, "Lothair"

Quotations about: Woman and Man

18. "There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again."

Clint Eastwood

Quotations about: Happiness

19. "There is more of good nature than of good sense at the bottom of most marriages."

Henry David Thoreau, "The Writings of Henry David Thoreau"

20. "Of course a platonic relationship is possible - but only between husband and wife."

Anon.

Quotations about: Love

It's time to buy something:

Drawings -:- Pottery & China -:- Wedding Apparel -:- Train Models

21. "A husband is a man who lost his liberty in pursuit of happiness."

Anon.

Quotations about: Freedom and Servitude -:- Happiness

22. "Marriage has its good side. It teaches you loyalty, forebearance, tolerance, self-restraint, and other valuable qualities you wouldn't need if you'd stayed single."

Allan Pease, "Why men don't Listen and Women can't read Maps"

Quotations about: Family and Loneliness

23. "Marriage is a covered dish."

Swiss Proverb

24. "Happiness is peace after strife, the overcoming of difficulties, the feeling of security and well-being. The only really happy folk are married women and single men."

Henry Louis Mencken, "A Mencken Chrestomathy"

Quotations about: Happiness

25. "Marriage is like a war. There are moments of chivalry and gallantry that attend the victorious advances and strategic retreats, the birth or death of children, the momentary conquest of loneliness, the sacrifice that ennobles him who makes it. But mostly there are the long dull sieges, the waiting, the terror and boredom. Women understand this better than men; they are better able to survive attrition."

Helen Hayes, "On Reflection"

Quotations about: Peace and War -:- Woman and Man

26. "Married life requires shared mystery even when all the facts are known."

Richard Ford, "The Sportswriter"

27. "He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."

Victor Borge

Quotations about: Happiness

28. "A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."

John Steinbeck, "Travels With Charley: In Search of America"

Quotations about: Various

29. "Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories."

John Wilmot

Quotations about: Family and Loneliness

30. "If you fear loneliness, then don't get married."

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

Quotations about: Family and Loneliness

31. "Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

Ogden Nash

32. "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

Rodney Dangerfield

Quotations about: Oration and Silence

33. "A really good detective never gets married."

Raymond Chandler

34. "Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."

Ken Dodd

Quotations about: Various

35. "Marriage is the golden ring in a chain, whose beginning is a glance and whose ending is eternity."

Khalil Gibran

36. "An honest man may really love a pretty girl, but only an idiot marries her merely because she is pretty."

Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl Chesterfield

Quotations about: Beauty and Ugliness -:- Woman and Man

37. "I promise to be an excellent husband, but give me a wife who, like the moon, will not appear every day in my sky."

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

38. "A true king is neither husband nor father; he considers his throne and nothing else."

Pierre Corneille, "Nicomede"

Quotations about: Authority, Government

39. "When a husband's story is believed, he begins to suspect his wife."

Henry Louis Mencken

Quotations about: Trust

40. "What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."

Cindy Gardner

Quotations about: Health and Alcohol

41. "I think there's something degrading about having a husband for a rival. It's humiliating if you fail and commonplace if you succeed."

Christopher Hampton, "Dangerous Liaisons"

Quotations about: Success and Fame

42. "Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love."

Ellen Key, "The Morality of Woman"

Quotations about: Love

43. "Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house."

Jean Kerr, "The Snake Has All the Lines"

Quotations about: Woman and Man

44. "Sorrow for a husband is like a pain in the elbow, sharp and short."

English proverb

Quotations about: Sorrow and Nostalgia

45. "A mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law in one house are like two cats in a bag."

Jewish proverb

Quotations about: Family and Loneliness -:- Woman and Man

46. "Marriage may often be a stormy lake, but celibacy is almost always a muddy horsepond."

Thomas Love Peacock

47. "Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant. Of a teacher and a learner."

John Updike, "Couples"

48. "If married couples did not live together good marriages would be more common."

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

49. "A good husband is healthy and absent."

Japanese proverb

50. "Every man needs two women, a quiet home-maker, and a thrilling nymph."

Iris Murdoch, "The Message to the Planet"

Quotations about: Woman and Man

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