Most great discoveries start with making a mistake.
Life is a balancing of differences.
Middle age is when you have a choice of two temptations and choose the one that will get you home earlier.
Without music, life is a journey through a desert.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
Never lend money. It causes amnesia.
The law says you can have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
History: An illusion caused by the passage of time.
Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Cats are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
Education: How come we have smart bombs and dumb kids?
Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
First Law of Cooking: A Hot pot looks exactly the same as a cold pot.
Men give love to get sex, Women give sex to get love.
Lost illusions are truths discovered.
Education is the fountain that too few people drink from.
A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
Some people have no respect for age unless it's bottled.
Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.
A butterfly is a self-propelled flower.
Manners are noises you don't make while eating soup.
A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to the kitchen makes you a cook.
Of course a platonic relationship is possible - but only between husband and wife.
Psychology - the art of turning stupidity into illness.
A husband is a man who lost his liberty in pursuit of happiness.
An optimist invented an airplane, a pessimist invented a parachute.
The difference between outlaws and inlaws is outlaws are wanted.
Some people look intelligent when they wear glasses, but it's only an optical illusion.
God invented dogs to give cats something to laugh at!
God created Adam and Eve - not Adam and Steve.
A bartender is just a chemist with a limited inventory.
A Camel is a horse designed by a committee.
Conscience: keeps more people awake than coffee.
A book is a present you can open again and again!
In matters of conscience, the law of the majority has no place.
A candy a day gives the dentist his pay.
A Terrorist is a man with a bomb but no aircraft to drop it from.
Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure Remember, you must use it, as it is given only once. Once wasted you cannot get it back.
After all, life is really simple; we ourselves create the circumstances that complicate it.
No rules for success will work if you don't.
Great minds have purposes, others have wishes.
It is not the size of the dog in the fight, it is the size of the fight in the dog!
You can buy education, but wisdom is a gift from God.
If you get up one time more than you fall, you will make it through.
Wise men are not always silent, but they know when to be.
Optimism is the content of small men in high places.
Hell is a place where all the cooks are British.
