A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head and the heating system of the heart.
A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell.
A man who thinks he is smarter than his wife, has a very smart wife!
There are times when forgetting can be just as important as remembering - and even more difficult.
Some people hate waking up and getting out of bed. I enjoy it. I do it three or four times a day.
Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible.
A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it.
Jesus paid a debt he didn't owe because we had a debt we couldn't pay.
Experience is the father of wisdom and memory the mother.
Even though a marriage is made in heaven, the maintenance work has to be done here on earth!
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
A seafood diet is the best: whenever you see food, eat it.
A smile is a curve that sets things straight.
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
Before you can break out of prison, you must realize that you are locked up.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Always buy good shoes, and a good bed. Because if you aren't in one, you're in the other.
God gave us time so that everything wouldn't happen all at once.
The easiest way to grow up is to surround yourself with people who are smarter than you.
The truth is like ice water, it shocks you when it hits you, but no one's ever died from it.
Alimony: funds which allow a woman who lived unhappily married to live happily unmarried.
Antiques are things one generation buys, the next generation gets rid off, and the following generation buys at auction at amazing prices.
A happy person is one whose arithmetic is at its best when they is counting their blessings.
Faith is not faith until it's all you're holding on to.
Some have the wisdom of old age and the energy of youth. Most have the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
The glass is not half-empty, it's just twice as big as it needs to be.
The next time the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.
The greatest tragedy is when man gives up what he wants most for what he wants now!
Happiness consists of three things: someone to love, work to do, and a clear conscience.
A person is only as big as the dream they dare to live.
Diplomacy is more than saying or doing the right things at the right time, it is avoiding saying or doing the wrong things at any time.
Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.
Beauty is quite different from charm, beauty is what you notice in a woman, charm is when a woman notices you.
The world is composed of givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
Any man who laughs at women's clothes has never paid the bill for them.
Those who believe money can do everything are frequently prepared to do everything for money.
A diplomat is someone who can speak without saying anything.
To err is human, to blame it on someone else is more human.
Any car will last a lifetime - if you are careless enough.
Don't tell God how big your problems are... tell your problems how big your God is.
Don't gripe about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't be a member.
If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
There are three ways to obtain wealth: inheritance, luck, and hard work. None is guaranteed, but you have no influence over the first two.
A 'wish' changes nothing. A 'decision' changes everything!
If evolution was true, mothers would have more than two hands.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead, and a place to sleep... you are richer than 75% of this world.
