Every man dies; not every man really lives.
Marriage - is an expensive way of getting your laundry done for free.
Love is when you don't want to go to sleep because reality is better than a dream.
A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other.
A woman never shot a man while he was doing dishes.
Dear Jesus, Please help Mommy and Daddy. Take care of Brother and Me. And please God, take care of yourself cause if anything happens to you we are in big trouble. Amen.
Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted.
Reality is that part of the imagination we all agree on.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
God loves us not because of who we are, but because of who He is.
There are three sides to any story, my side, his side and the truth.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
Worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you may never owe.
The memory of bad quality lasts longer than the shock of high prices.
Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up.
Life is an echo. What you send out - you get back. What you give - you get.
In communism, man oppresses man. In capitalism, it's the other way around.
Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
Life is eternal, and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.
Lawyer (n): Larval stage of Politician.
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.
A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
Liberty is always unfinished business.
It always helps to know the answer when you are working toward the solution of a problem.
My son is my son till he hath got him a wife, but my daughter's my daughter all the days of her life.
Depression is anger without enthusiasm.
To ignore the past is to jeopardize the future.
What is popular is not always right; what is right is not always popular.
Greed is the mother of all sins.
History is written by the victors.
Happiness is being married to your best friend.
Love makes time pass. Time makes love pass.
Anger is a thief who steals away the nice moments.
If you can't appreciate it, you don't deserve it.
The only lesson history has taught us is that man has not yet learned anything from history.
Women don't make history, they complicate it.
It's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.
Physical prowess is for cowards; a little pain builds character.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Optimists are badly informed pessimists.
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
Those who suppress freedom always do so in the name of law and order.
Trust God, check all others.
The first victim of anger is the angry man.
