Life is too important to be taken as a joke, but too ridiculous to be taken seriously.
Life may have no meaning -- or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
If only our great thinkers could learn to talk, and our great talkers could learn to think.
Keep some souvenirs of your past, or how will you ever prove it wasn't all a dream?
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.
My first line of defense against reality is called sleep.
My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.
One good thing about my computer: it never asks why.
Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules.
All I want is a little more than I'll ever get.
The majority is never right, unless it includes me.
Success for some people, depends on becoming well-known; for others, it depends on never being found out.
The best reason for having dreams is that in dreams no reasons are necessary.
Sometimes the best way to be useful is to get out of somebody's way.
The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other.
Be kind to unkind people; they probably need it the most.
Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.