God and the Devil are an effort after specialization and the division of labor.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
Books are like imprisoned souls till someone takes them down from a shelf and frees them.
To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
Genius [...] has been defined as a supreme capacity for taking trouble. [...] It might be more fitly described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds and keeping them therein so long as the genius remains.
Life is one long process of getting tired.
A definition is the enclosing a wilderness of idea within a wall of words.
The most perfect humour and irony is generally quite unconscious.
A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his own property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from all his forefathers.
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Heaven is the work of the best and kindest men and women. Hell is the work of prigs, pedants and professional truth-tellers. The world is an attempt to make the best of both.
Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.
To die completely, a person must not only forget but be forgotten, and he who is not forgotten is not dead.
All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.
Truth consists not in never lying but in knowing when to lie and when not to do so.
Words are like money; there is nothing so useless, unless when in actual use.
The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself.
A great portrait is always more a portrait of the painter than of the painted.
Sin is like a mountain with two aspects according to whether it is viewed before or after it has been reached: yet both aspects are real.
Memory and forgetfulness are as life and death to one another. To live is to remember and to remember is to live. To die is to forget and to forget is to die.
Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.
Morality is the custom of one's country and the current feeling of one's peers. Cannibalism is moral in a cannibal country.
