Phyllis Diller

"Health is what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down."

Rating: 7.00 (Number of Voters: 3)

"The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

Rating: 6.00 (Number of Voters: 6)

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

Rating: 7.00 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."

Rating: 3.00 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

Rating: 3.80 (Number of Voters: 5)