A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
A charity ball is like a dance except it's tax deductible.
Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine.
Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do.
Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.
Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind has been bullied by scum.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.
Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
War will exist as long as there's a food chain.
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
