Will Rogers

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."

Rating: 5.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like."

Rating: 3.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them."

Rating: 3.25 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation."

Will Rogers
Will Rogers "Wit and Wisdom"

Rating: 4.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is."

Rating: 5.00 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes."

Rating: 6.00 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

Will Rogers
Will Rogers "Illiterate Digest"

Rating: 4.00 (Number of Voters: 6)

"You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way."

Rating: 4.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh."

Rating: 3.00 (Number of Voters: 3)

"The United States never lost a war or won a conference."

Rating: 6.00 (Number of Voters: 2)

"It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human."

Rating: 5.00 (Number of Voters: 2)

"Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work."

Rating: 5.00 (Number of Voters: 3)

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

Rating: 5.00 (Number of Voters: 5)

"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."

Will Rogers
Will Rogers "The Illiterate Digest"

Rating: 3.67 (Number of Voters: 6)

"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week."

Rating: 6.75 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip."

Rating: 5.25 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."

Rating: 3.67 (Number of Voters: 3)

"No nation ever had two better friends that we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans."

Rating: 5.20 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat."

Rating: 5.00 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."

Rating: 6.00 (Number of Voters: 1)

"Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators."

Rating: 4.00 (Number of Voters: 3)

"When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do - well, that's Memoirs."

Rating: 6.00 (Number of Voters: 5)

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."

Rating: 5.50 (Number of Voters: 4)