Marriage

"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder."

Ambrose Bierce

Love

Marriage

Rating: 6.67 (Number of Voters: 3)

"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open."

Groucho Marx

Marriage

Oration and Silence

Richness and Money

Rating: 5.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly."

Voltaire

Courage and Fear

Marriage

Rating: 4.67 (Number of Voters: 3)

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

Mignon McLaughin

Love

Marriage

Rating: 6.75 (Number of Voters: 4)

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Rita Rudner

Marriage

Rating: 5.00 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Marriage is like a big transformer - it turns a high voltage of love into a weak current of everyday life."

Kazimierz Matan

Love

Marriage

Rating: 8.50 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Before the wedding we want to love. After the wedding we have to."

Kazimierz Matan

Love

Marriage

Rating: 6.00 (Number of Voters: 1)

"Alimony: a mistake by two people paid for by one."

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Marriage

Rating: 7.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Married love is a stream that, after a certain length of time, sinks into the earth and flows underground. Something is there, but one does not know what. Only the vegetation shows that there is still water."

Gerald Branan "Thoughts in a Dry Season: A Miscellany"

Love

Marriage

Rating: 5.50 (Number of Voters: 2)

"Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it."

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Love

Marriage

Rating: 3.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Marriage is a bad proposition, half end in divorce, and the other half end in death."

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Marriage

Rating: 3.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"When you sympathize with a married woman you either make two enemies or gain one wife and one friend."

Menander "A Mencken Chrestomathy"

Marriage

Woman and Man

Rating: 3.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez "Love in the Time of Cholera"

Love

Marriage

Rating: 8.50 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings."

Vicki Baum "And Life Goes On"

Marriage

Rating: 5.75 (Number of Voters: 4)

"The law says you can have only one spouse. This is called monotony."

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Law and Crime

Marriage

Rating: 6.60 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit."

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Marriage

Work and Laziness

Rating: 3.00 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Bachelors have consciences. Married men have wives."

Henry Louis Mencken "A Mencken Chrestomathy"

Marriage

Sin and Conscience

Rating: 1.00 (Number of Voters: 1)

"Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them."

Sydney Smith

Marriage

Rating: 5.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"My mother said it was simple to keep a man: you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit."

Jerry Hall

Marriage

Woman and Man

Rating: 6.20 (Number of Voters: 5)

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

Milton Berle

Forgiveness

Marriage

Rating: 5.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Every woman should marry - and no man."

Benjamin Disraeli "Lothair"

Marriage

Woman and Man

Rating: 4.20 (Number of Voters: 5)

"There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again."

Clint Eastwood

Happiness

Marriage

Rating: 2.50 (Number of Voters: 2)

"There is more of good nature than of good sense at the bottom of most marriages."

Henry David Thoreau "The Writings of Henry David Thoreau"

Marriage

Rating: 8.50 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Of course a platonic relationship is possible - but only between husband and wife."

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Love

Marriage

Rating: 3.75 (Number of Voters: 4)

"A husband is a man who lost his liberty in pursuit of happiness."

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Freedom and Servitude

Happiness

Marriage

Rating: 6.83 (Number of Voters: 6)

"Marriage has its good side. It teaches you loyalty, forebearance, tolerance, self-restraint, and other valuable qualities you wouldn't need if you'd stayed single."

Allan Pease "Why men don't Listen and Women can't read Maps"

Family and Loneliness

Marriage

Rating: 6.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage is a covered dish."

Swiss Proverbs

Marriage

Rating: 4.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Happiness is peace after strife, the overcoming of difficulties, the feeling of security and well-being. The only really happy folk are married women and single men."

Henry Louis Mencken "A Mencken Chrestomathy"

Happiness

Marriage

Rating: 4.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage is like a war. There are moments of chivalry and gallantry that attend the victorious advances and strategic retreats, the birth or death of children, the momentary conquest of loneliness, the sacrifice that ennobles him who makes it. But mostly there are the long dull sieges, the waiting, the terror and boredom. Women understand this better than men; they are better able to survive attrition."

Helen Hayes "On Reflection"

Marriage

Peace and War

Woman and Man

Rating: 6.00 (Number of Voters: 6)

"Married life requires shared mystery even when all the facts are known."

Richard Ford "The Sportswriter"

Marriage

Rating: 9.00 (Number of Voters: 1)

"He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."

Victor Borge

Happiness

Marriage

Rating: 8.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."

John Steinbeck "Travels With Charley: In Search of America"

Marriage

Various

Rating: 4.25 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories."

John Wilmot

Family and Loneliness

Marriage

Rating: 7.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"If you fear loneliness, then don't get married."

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

Family and Loneliness

Marriage

Rating: 7.60 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

Ogden Nash

Marriage

Rating: 7.67 (Number of Voters: 3)

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage

Oration and Silence

Rating: 2.00 (Number of Voters: 2)

"A really good detective never gets married."

Raymond Chandler

Marriage

Rating: 5.50 (Number of Voters: 2)

"Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."

Ken Dodd

Marriage

Various

Rating: 4.00 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage is the golden ring in a chain, whose beginning is a glance and whose ending is eternity."

Khalil Gibran

Marriage

Rating: 7.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"An honest man may really love a pretty girl, but only an idiot marries her merely because she is pretty."

Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl Chesterfield

Beauty and Ugliness

Marriage

Woman and Man

Rating: 7.00 (Number of Voters: 8)

"I promise to be an excellent husband, but give me a wife who, like the moon, will not appear every day in my sky."

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

Marriage

Rating: 5.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"A true king is neither husband nor father; he considers his throne and nothing else."

Pierre Corneille "Nicomede"

Authority, Government

Marriage

Rating: 5.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"When a husband's story is believed, he begins to suspect his wife."

Henry Louis Mencken

Marriage

Trust

Rating: 7.00 (Number of Voters: 4)

"What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."

Cindy Gardner

Health and Alcohol

Marriage

Rating: 4.60 (Number of Voters: 5)

"I think there's something degrading about having a husband for a rival. It's humiliating if you fail and commonplace if you succeed."

Christopher Hampton "Dangerous Liaisons"

Marriage

Success and Fame

Rating: 7.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love."

Ellen Key "The Morality of Woman"

Love

Marriage

Rating: 3.00 (Number of Voters: 2)

"Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house."

Jean Kerr "The Snake Has All the Lines"

Marriage

Woman and Man

Rating: 5.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Sorrow for a husband is like a pain in the elbow, sharp and short."

English Proverbs

Marriage

Sorrow and Nostalgia

Rating: 2.33 (Number of Voters: 3)