"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder."

Rating: 6.67 (Number of Voters: 3)

"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open."

Rating: 5.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly."

Rating: 4.67 (Number of Voters: 3)

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

Rating: 6.75 (Number of Voters: 4)

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Rating: 5.00 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Marriage is like a big transformer - it turns a high voltage of love into a weak current of everyday life."

Rating: 8.50 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Before the wedding we want to love. After the wedding we have to."

Rating: 6.00 (Number of Voters: 1)

"Alimony: a mistake by two people paid for by one."

Rating: 7.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Married love is a stream that, after a certain length of time, sinks into the earth and flows underground. Something is there, but one does not know what. Only the vegetation shows that there is still water."

Gerald Branan
Gerald Branan "Thoughts in a Dry Season: A Miscellany"

Rating: 5.50 (Number of Voters: 2)

"Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it."

Rating: 3.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Marriage is a bad proposition, half end in divorce, and the other half end in death."

Rating: 3.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"When you sympathize with a married woman you either make two enemies or gain one wife and one friend."

Menander "A Mencken Chrestomathy"

Rating: 3.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Gabriel Garcia Marquez "Love in the Time of Cholera"

Rating: 8.50 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings."

Vicki Baum
Vicki Baum "And Life Goes On"

Rating: 5.75 (Number of Voters: 4)

"The law says you can have only one spouse. This is called monotony."

Rating: 6.60 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit."

Rating: 3.00 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Bachelors have consciences. Married men have wives."

Henry Louis Mencken
Henry Louis Mencken "A Mencken Chrestomathy"

Rating: 1.00 (Number of Voters: 1)

"Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them."

Rating: 5.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"My mother said it was simple to keep a man: you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit."

Rating: 6.20 (Number of Voters: 5)

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

Rating: 5.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Every woman should marry - and no man."

Rating: 4.20 (Number of Voters: 5)

"There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again."

Rating: 2.50 (Number of Voters: 2)

"There is more of good nature than of good sense at the bottom of most marriages."

Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau "The Writings of Henry David Thoreau"

Rating: 8.50 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Of course a platonic relationship is possible - but only between husband and wife."

Rating: 3.75 (Number of Voters: 4)

"A husband is a man who lost his liberty in pursuit of happiness."

Rating: 6.83 (Number of Voters: 6)

"Marriage has its good side. It teaches you loyalty, forebearance, tolerance, self-restraint, and other valuable qualities you wouldn't need if you'd stayed single."

Allan Pease
Allan Pease "Why men don't Listen and Women can't read Maps"

Rating: 6.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage is a covered dish."

Rating: 4.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Happiness is peace after strife, the overcoming of difficulties, the feeling of security and well-being. The only really happy folk are married women and single men."

Henry Louis Mencken
Henry Louis Mencken "A Mencken Chrestomathy"

Rating: 4.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage is like a war. There are moments of chivalry and gallantry that attend the victorious advances and strategic retreats, the birth or death of children, the momentary conquest of loneliness, the sacrifice that ennobles him who makes it. But mostly there are the long dull sieges, the waiting, the terror and boredom. Women understand this better than men; they are better able to survive attrition."

Helen Hayes
Helen Hayes "On Reflection"

Rating: 6.00 (Number of Voters: 6)

"Married life requires shared mystery even when all the facts are known."

Richard Ford
Richard Ford "The Sportswriter"

Rating: 9.00 (Number of Voters: 1)

"He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."

Rating: 8.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."

John Steinbeck
John Steinbeck "Travels With Charley: In Search of America"

Rating: 4.25 (Number of Voters: 4)

"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories."

Rating: 7.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"If you fear loneliness, then don't get married."

Rating: 7.60 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

Rating: 7.67 (Number of Voters: 3)

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

Rating: 2.00 (Number of Voters: 2)

"A really good detective never gets married."

Rating: 5.50 (Number of Voters: 2)

"Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."

Rating: 4.00 (Number of Voters: 5)

"Marriage is the golden ring in a chain, whose beginning is a glance and whose ending is eternity."

Rating: 7.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"An honest man may really love a pretty girl, but only an idiot marries her merely because she is pretty."

Rating: 7.00 (Number of Voters: 8)

"I promise to be an excellent husband, but give me a wife who, like the moon, will not appear every day in my sky."

Rating: 5.80 (Number of Voters: 5)

"A true king is neither husband nor father; he considers his throne and nothing else."

Rating: 5.40 (Number of Voters: 5)

"When a husband's story is believed, he begins to suspect his wife."

Rating: 7.00 (Number of Voters: 4)

"What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."

Rating: 4.60 (Number of Voters: 5)

"I think there's something degrading about having a husband for a rival. It's humiliating if you fail and commonplace if you succeed."

Christopher Hampton
Christopher Hampton "Dangerous Liaisons"

Rating: 7.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love."

Ellen Key
Ellen Key "The Morality of Woman"

Rating: 3.00 (Number of Voters: 2)

"Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house."

Jean Kerr
Jean Kerr "The Snake Has All the Lines"

Rating: 5.33 (Number of Voters: 3)

"Sorrow for a husband is like a pain in the elbow, sharp and short."

Rating: 2.33 (Number of Voters: 3)