I speak others' minds only to speak my own the more.
To me old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
A sense of humor judges one's actions and the actions of others from a wider reference and a longer view and finds them incongruous. It dampens enthusiasm; it mocks hope; it pardons shortcomings; it consoles failure. It recommends moderation.
When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.
It is kind of happiness to know to what extent we may be unhappy.
A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye.
The proper memory for a politician is one that knows what to remember and what to forget.
Philosophy, like medicine, has plenty of drugs, few good remedies, and hardly any specific cures.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
My work is my only relationship to everything.
Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
Hands that help are holier than lips that pray.
Any man who thinks he deserves heaven is not a Christian. But for any man who knows he deserves hell there is hope.
Opinions have caused more ills than the plague or earthquakes on this little globe of ours.
What does a fish know about the water in which it swims all its life?
I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.
We are only what we are; not what we would be; nor every thing we hope for. We are but a step in a scale, that reaches further above us than below.
Of course a platonic relationship is possible - but only between husband and wife.
Truth is eternal, and the quest for Truth must also be eternal.
The eye tells what the tongue would hide.
If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor.
Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Voyagers discover that the world can never be larger than the person that is in the world; but it is impossible to foresee this, it is impossible to be warned.
Man is a luxury loving animal.
Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse.
Talent is nothing but a prolonged period of attention and a shortened period of mental assimilation.
Inspiration is a guest that does not willingly visit the lazy.
Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion.
Every man is working out his destiny in his own way and nobody can be of any help except by being kind, generous, and patient.
Truth is the light; So you never give up the fight.
Drawing is speaking to the eye; talking is painting to the ear.
Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men.
The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries and disasters with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain.
Experience is a good school. But the fees are high.
Orgies are an early form of what will someday become sex by committee.
Sin is whatever obscures the soul.
Education: How come we have smart bombs and dumb kids?
Only the person who has experienced light and darkness, war and peace, rise and fall, only that person has truly experienced life.
The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.
Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.
An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
As a general rule the most successful man in life is the man who has the best information.
Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.
Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life. Security is an insipid thing.
There are persons who, when they cease to shock us, cease to interest us.
The zoo is a place for animals to study the behaviour of human beings.
Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.
